I have never been one to think about my age. But in the weeks leading up to the new year it was on my mind a lot.
New Year’s Eve while hanging out with My hubby’s family I mentioned or vented a little about how I’m scared of turning 30. His aunt told me that the 30’s are great just like almost everyone else has said but then goes into how by 30 a woman is usually established. They know where they are in life or where they’re going.
While I am married and have two kids. I lack the feeling of accomplishment. I don’t have something that signifies Heather. I don’t know if I know where I’m going. I’m Jons wife who stays home while he works. I’m the kids mother who volunteers and attends sporting events. But what do I have that’s just me?? I work out but I’m not anywhere close to where I would like to be. And I surely don’t make any money or any impact on others while doing it either. It’s like what am I going to be when I grow up?
But while this is all happening I’m being reminded by Jons aunt, his cousins and even an uncle of what a great mom I am. The next day while driving somewhere I started to cry and told my husband that I never realized how often his family compliments me on being a mom. He proceeded to tell me about my family and people on social media. At that moment it just hit me differently. And got me thinking.
I might not have a career or a rocking set of abs to show for my hard work in the gym but I’m a mom. Who is lucky enough to be supported and encouraged for being a mom. I do my very best. I do what I think is best for my children and while it doesn’t always work out how I’d like I’m still doing a good job and that is who I am. I’m a mom. A mom who needs to accept that fact that while I might just see it as something I chose to do for my family it’s not going unrecognized. And that in itself is a huge accomplishment.
I’m guilty of not always taking each comment to heart because sometimes I think we’ll this is normal. This is what you should do as a mom. No? And I stay home at that. I don’t have a 9-5 job I have to worry about so I sometimes think people just look at me like “she has it so easy.”
But they see/saw what I didn’t. I didn’t see my duties as a mom as a job or career but in reality it is who I am and what I’ve not only committed to but made into a full time job for the last 8 years. Our children are a reflection of ourselves and I so badly just want to do right by them. I want to raise good human beings. They are my first thought when it comes to everything. I’m a mom. Heather, the mom. And for as long as I am doing this I will continue to do my best. And will continue to find ways to improve and grow. I will make myself better while learning to accept that it’s okay to just be a mom.