I’m in an awful mood today. I hardly like anyone and would love to just spend the evening alone in my room catching up on Teen Mom 2.
I have to get my kids ready drive my son 30 mins away for football practice leave him there by 530 then drive 40 minutes back past home to attend open house which starts at 6 to then leave there by 7 to drive back to get him and catch the last part of practice before driving the 30 minutes back home! Are you tired yet? I’m tired and cranky!
I’m meeting Chloe’s preschool teacher tonight and getting “papers” I assume with info for the year. You didn’t hear? CHLOE GOT INTO PREK at Jonathan’s school and while I’m so happy for her and the routine of it she is not as excited as myself and is quite possibly dreading it!
We took her to get new shoes today and she talked her daddy into another cat stuffed animal and some lil undies with cats all over them. I picked up some tees to match new shoes and some jeans just so were ready when fall decides to arrive. While all this is great I was miserable. I don’t know what it was. I also cried on the way home. I feel lost maybe? Like where do I fit in. My kids are going to school, my husband works all the time and then there’s me. This woman just making sure everyone’s shit goes right. Do you know how draining that can be?
I often feel this way. Like I loose myself. Who is heather? What does heather like? When does heather get to do what heather wants? While I love doing things with my husband and children I just wish I could do my own stuff sometimes without it being a problem. I often feel like a nucense to my own family.
Friends I have them, but I basically have no time for them and then I feel like crap because I want time with them and time to vent/do fun things without the kids because I’m with them ALL.THE.TIME. Everyone’s so busy and thats life these days but it also seems that I have the hardest time getting friends together or making plans and that can be frustrating. I’m tired of trying to make everything work for everybody. I’m just the type to plan to much in order to please myself and then everyone else and well that just ends with me being tired and sometimes not enjoying said time away. Make sense?
Thank god I finally got my hair done AGAIN. The red was not for me and it brought me down. My brown is back and it sounds so conceited but forreal it’s my color and it looks good which there for makes me feel good!
And after I took some casual car selfies I thought hmm my face is looking kinda skinny. And in fact I was fatter than I thought 6 weeks ago and so that makes me happy. But the gym is a hard thing. Motivation is hard to find most days and when you have a million other things going on it makes it harder to get there too. Example today rushing the husband out the door I forgot my gym clothes which made me feel crappy cus I wasn’t going to get the chance to go and I hate missing a day! I feel like all my hard work will be ruined missing a day. It’s almost like an addiction now that I’ve been going for over a month. I think it also has to do with my sanity. That time alone, listening to the music. Not having any interruptions. It’s just a good time for me because even though I’m working out and sweating it’s somewhat calming and therapeutic.
That was yesterday…see I have no time for my stuff can’t even finish a post these days!
Last night was crazy! I got home and had a huge folder of stuff from open house told the kids to go to their rooms to prepare for bed and that is be there shortly to tuck them in. I heard them playing and goofing off and told them twice to cut it out. I continued to fill papers out and then heard my son scream “what did you do to me Chloe what did you do to me”. I panicked. My first thoughts were blood. Something happened with scissors and his eyes bleeding. YES I think those things!
They were throwing toys in the hall and Chloe threw a toy back into Jonathan’s room and broke his front permanent tooth!
I thought last week was bad but this week has been insane! I could go on and on but today was good! Made an appt. for Jonathan at the dentist. Got to the gym with the hubby, Jr. had an awesome football practice. Chloe was so good and we are all set for family photos on Sunday! So on that note I’m going to pass out! We have Jonathan’s first game of the season at 8am!
Goodnight all : )